


The Revenge Game

by Fuzzball457



Series: The Games [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Mental Instability, Threats, hostage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-15
Packaged: 2017-12-23 14:56:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/927842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzzball457/pseuds/Fuzzball457
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>May's back for revenge and Reid's once again in danger, only this time he's all alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Revenge Game

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 11 parts on FF.net
> 
> Wrote this a while ago - please suspend your disbelief at any inaccuracies :)

" _Life's a game, all you have to do, is know how to play it."_

_~Unknown_

* * *

PART I: Privacy Invaded

The note fluttered to the ground after slipping from Reid's shaking hand. He fell back onto the couch like his knees just couldn't support him anymore.

A cold shock spread through his numb body. Reid didn't doubt for a minute it was Mayella.

Mayella had been here. She had been _here_ in his own home. How? How had she invaded his most personal space? Reid was a very private person and it was downright terrifying to think she had been in his apartment – had invaded his privacy.

 _Had_ invaded his privacy? Who's to say she wasn't still here? Hiding somewhere just waiting for the moment to strike…

A feeling of fear, true raw, animalistic fear, rose in Reid. He had the sudden childish desire to grab the blanket, which hung over the side of the couch, and hide under it.

 _Don't be stupid_ , he snapped at himself as he stomped down on his fear. _Be logical,_ he told himself. If logic had gotten him this far, it could get him the rest of the way.

If she was here waiting to get him, he thought logically, she would have gone after him while he was standing there panicking. Why would she wait until he was prepared to get him? So most likely, if she was in the house, she didn't plan to find and attack him; she most likely was waiting for Reid to stumble upon her spot then get him. Reid quickly made his way over to the table and grabbed his gun.

The best way to stop someone from surprising you is to find them before they find you. That way the element of surprise was in your favor, not theirs.

The way Reid's apartment was set up, you could see the kitchen from the living room. A small hallway with a closet lead to the bedroom and the bathroom.

Slowly, with gun held at the ready, he made my way down the hallway. Reid threw open the closet revealing nothing but the usual linens.

Next came the bathroom. Empty as well.

That only left the bedroom.

Reid really hoped she wasn't in there. He could handle being attacked in his kitchen or living room, but he doubted he could ever sleep well in his bedroom if he was attacked there.

Fear rose once again as he entered the bedroom. Reid flicked on the light and stood frozen at the door.

Empty.

Reid wasn't sure whether to be relieved or more worried.

He looked over his entire apartment again with a critical eye, taking in all the details.

Mayella wasn't here. But she would eventually come for him. He checked his lock and his alarm system, both were fine and in working order. So how had she gotten in? All the windows were still locked and a light dust was even settling on them, he'd been gone almost three weeks.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, was disturbed in any way. He had to give her credit, even though she looked like your average seventeen year old, she certainly had skills.

Reid stood in the middle of his living room looking around. He didn't know what to do with himself.

His eyes searched out his cell phone sitting on the table.

Should he call Hotch? Or Morgan? But what if she didn't come for a while? Maybe even a month? They would all worry and what if it was nothing? Maybe she wasn't serious. Everyone on the team got threats all the time when they were arresting people. People swearing revenge and distraught families determined to seek retribution for their families. But then, she did go to all the effort of getting it into his apartment.

He walked up to the table and snatched up his phone. He had it open and was just about to press Morgan's number when he stopped. Morgan had had just as hard a time as him. He had been gone for just as long as Reid had. He had been kidnapped too. He needed rest. Besides, Morgan would just have to call Hotch to tell him of the potential threat. So Reid switched to Hotch. But then, Hotch had been stressed and worried and had a hard week too. All of them had just gotten back from a more difficult than usual case and were just as tired as him. At this moment, they were both probably either asleep or just about to fall asleep.

What if he called and woke him up then it was nothing? Or she didn't attack him for months? But then, what if he didn't call and she got him in the night?

Reid let out a noise of frustration then dropped the phone back onto the table.

He was not going to worry them over what might be nothing. Besides, he wasn't a kid, he could take care of himself. Hadn't he proved that when push came to shove he could protect himself and his teammate? He didn't need to go crying for help as soon as he got a threat. He had always gone out of his way to prove that, despite his age, he was just as capable as any of them.

Even if he did call them, what would they do? Drag the whole team down to BAU headquarters and make sure he never went anywhere alone for a while?

This was ridiculous.

Reid was finally home for the first time in almost three weeks and he had yet to relax. He had finally escaped Mayella's grasp and made it home just to get dragged back into this.

He finally decided to just go about his night like usual and tell them about the note in the morning. He headed over to his sofa, intent on reading his book, when he decided to grab his gun. Better safe than sorry.

Flopping down on his couch, while keeping his still healing leg straightened out, Reid opened the book and buried himself within its pages.

_A throng of bearded men, in sad-colored garments and gray, steeple-crowned hats, intermixed with women…_

About half an hour later, Reid was finished.

He got to his feet and stretched his sore, tired muscles. Reid felt reassured he was safe for at least the night. He had doublt checked his alarm system was set just in case.

Shoving the covers aside, Reid slid into bed. He dropped his gun onto the table next to him. The worry in him slipped away and soon he was asleep.

He failed to notice the lone figure standing under the lamp across the street from his apartment looking through his living room window.

PART II: Changes

* * *

_We would rather be ruined than changed;_  
We would rather die in our dread  
Than climb the cross of the moment  
And let our illusions die.  
~W.H. Auden

* * *

Reid wasn't sure what it was that awoke him, but for some reason not an hour after going to sleep, he was awake.

Another few seconds and he knew what had awoken him. And it had him terrified.

He was staring down the barrel of his very own gun.

His eyes shifted up from barrel to the figure holding it. It was too dark to really tell, but Reid was certain it was Mayella. Not that he felt that much better knowing who it was.

"Get up." It was not the voice of Mayella that Reid knew. It wasn't happy or cheery, it was pure venom. An order. And a threat because Reid had no doubt if he didn't get up he would be shot.

Very slowly Reid swung his feet over the edge of the bed, trying to hide a groan as a small flare of pain danced across his still healing thigh. He rose to his feet, the whole time the gun stayed trained on a spot between his eyes.

"Move," she ordered, her voice still cold. Reid took a few steps forward and before he even had a chance to think about it, Mayella was behind him with the barrel of the gun pressed between his shoulder blades. Reid cursed his own exhaustion and the damper it was putting on his ability to be fully alert. The metal tip of the gun felt cold even through Reid's pajama top. It pressed tighter to him so he continued moving forward slowly.

"Faster." Reid complied.

He was marched into the living room and near the couch. It felt utterly ridiculous taking orders in his own home and it was downright scary to know that this was his home, his sanctuary, and it may very well be the place he died.

"Turn on the light." Reid almost couldn't turn the switch because of how much his hands were shaking. "Sit down, Spencer." Reid slowly sank down, letting out a tiny hiss when his leg showed its displeasure the strain of slowly sitting was putting on it. Reid looked up and finally got a good look her.

The girl before him was nothing like May from before. There was no bright dress, no wavy brown hair and most noticeable of all, no constantly beaming smile.

What stood before him was someone straight out of a horror movie.

She was wearing the same yellow dress, and Reid got the creepy feeling that she hadn't taken it off since. It was filthy and ripped and its yellow color faded to something resembling a dirty golden retriever. Her long arms and previously elegant legs were covered in dirt and small scratches. The light sandals she wore before were gone and her bare feet were edged in black. Her hair was darker, but it was probably just the dirt in it making it look like such. Knots and snarls made it appear wild and untamed. But the biggest change was her face. Not only was there soot along her cheekbones, but she was paler and her eyes were cold and dead. Graceful could no longer describe the way she moved and now, when she walked her feet turned in slightly and she more of stumbled from place to place.

She disappeared from his view and Reid could hear her shuffling into the kitchen. Suddenly something occurred to Reid.

"How'd you get in?" he asked hesitantly. Before, he would have doubts about asking. Worst that could happen was she wouldn't tell him. She had wanted him alive. But now, the risk was being shot and that wasn't something Reid wanted to try out.

He heard the shuffling stop and she paused then continued on with what she was doing. Reid assumed she was just going to ignore the question but when she came back, he was proven wrong.

She stood before him, holding stuff in each hand. The gun was partially tucked into one of the pockets on the side of her dress, the barrel hanging out. She extended her left hand and opened her palm to reveal something small and silver.

His key.

And suddenly it hit him.

Of course she would have his key. She'd probably taken it when she'd kidnapped him in the beginning. Both of Morgan and Reid's guns had been taken along with their credentials and cell phones so it was only fair to assume she had fully searched their persons. When they had returned to Quantico, their guns, credentials and cell phones had been replaced, but Reid hadn't stopped to think about his house keys which he had on him by force of habit. He always kept them with his cell phone, so as not to lose them, it was just easier that way. But he also kept a spare with his work stuff just in case. And when he had to use it to get in that night, he'd just assumed he lost it in all the chaos of the weeks.

Reid wanted to smack his head on the wall for being so stupid. How could he not a figured she had a key?

Mayella withdrew her hand and tucked the key in a another pocket along the other side of her ripped dress. Then she stretched out her other hand.

In it was his cell phone. Most likely she had been getting it when she was in the kitchen.

"Call."

"Who?" Reid asked tentatively as he slowly took the small device from her hand with his left hand.

Suddenly May's filthy hand shot forward and grabbed Reid's hand that didn't have the phone. He almost jumped a foot in the air in shock. She flattened it out into a position that a girl might have her own hand in while examining her nails. She brought his hand up close to her face and Reid realized she was staring, transfixed, at the bandage on his finger which had the fingernail removed. The doctor had assured Reid it would eventually grow back fully, but for now, Reid was keeping it bandaged until it was back to normal. May brought her other hand up and slowly started to undo the band-aid.

Reid felt his heart race. What was she going to do? It wasn't behavior he had come to expect of her. Her eyes got wider and wider as she worked to undo the sticky part of the band-aid and finally it fell away completely.

Reid didn't know what to do. He was terrified of what she would do, whatever that might be. Then Reid had an idea. May had kidnapped him for his intelligence, so maybe he could use that to his advantage again.

"Did you know that on average, an adult's fingernail grows about 0.02 inches a week? That's about the speed that continents move. Men's fingernails grow faster than women. And younger people's fingernails grow faster. Also, fingernails grow faster during the day, especially on people who live in sunny climates." Reid was aware he was rambling, but it seemed to work as May slowly lowered his hand. She looked up at him and gave him a small nod. His distraction tactic had worked on another level too, Reid noted, as her eyes no longer had the hate in them. They now had a misery Reid had never seen before. Suddenly she blinked and looked down at the phone in Reid's other hand.

"Call them."

"Who?" Reid repeated his question from earlier, feeling more confident now.

"Your team."

PART III: Ying & Yang

Reid felt like someone had just dropped him into a tub of ice water. He probably should have expected something like that, but it was still a shock.

"But they didn't have anything to do with it. It was all me," Reid didn't actually know what he was saying was all his fault, but if it got his team out of this mess, then it was worth it.

"Don't be ridiculous. They were the ones who killed my brother. You were just the one who screwed up my game." Reid took a stab in the dark and tried to appeal to her logical side.

"But it wasn't a game, May. It was our lives you were playing with. It was real and you were hurting people. So was your brother. It was wrong-"

The smack was hard and unexpected. Reid fell to the side, his cheek stinging from where her hand had come in contact with it.

"Don't you ever say anything against my brother again," she snarled. Now that her hands were free, she snatched the gun back out of her pocket. She leveled it with his head and clicked the safety off. "Now call," she growled.

"Um, okay," he said opening the phone, "what do you want me to say?"

"Call your boss, Agent Hotchner,I believe, and tell him to get everyone to the conference room at the BAU. Don't tell him why, but have him call you on speakerphone once everyone is there."

Reid nodded and dialed the number with shaking fingers. It rang twice before a very sleepy sounding Hotch answered.

" _Hotchner?"_ It amazed Reid that even though Hotch was clearly tired, he still managed to sound business-like.

"Uh, hi, Hotch. It's Reid. Um, sorry for waking you…" even though it seemed like a stupid thing to say in the current situation, Reid still felt guilty for waking the most likely exhausted man.

" _Hello, Reid. Is everything okay?"_ He sounded worried. Well, Reid thought, he did just receive a call from his colleague at one in the morning. Reid would be worried too if he was in Hotch's shoes.

"Yes…no…well, sort of," _yeah because that made total sense, genius,_ "Look, Hotch, could you please call everyone down to the conference room? I um…well I can't really tell you why…" Reid almost rolled his eyes at how stupid he sounded. What was Hotch thinking? He wouldn't be surprised if Hotch demanded a clear answer before agreeing to call anyone.

But Hotch, being a profiler, must have picked up the fearand anxiousness in his voice, because he said, _"Okay, Reid, but I'll want an explanation once we get there."_

"Actually, I'm not going to be there. But, if you could call me back, on speaker phone, I'll explain everything."

" _Alright, oh, and Reid? Are you sure everything's okay?"_ Hotch sounded both confused and apprehensive.

"Y-yeah, don't worry," _yet_ , Reid silently added.

" _Well, if you're sure…I'll call you back in about fifteen minutes."_ Hotch ended the call. Hotch was worried, that much Reid could tell. He slowly closed the phone and set it on his lap.

May and Reid sat in a very awkward silence for a few minutes.

This was, in a way, almost more frightening than being kidnapped before. Before, not only did he have Morgan, but there was a routine, a plan. Reid liked plans; he wasn't a very big fan of surprises. He enjoyed the semblance of control plans gave him, even when he was being held against his will. He knew what would be happening and when. Not to mention, before, he knew she wouldn't kill him. But now, he had no idea. For all he knew, May could be waiting for the team to call back so she could kill him and they would have to listen to him dying. Or maybe she would kill him before they even called. This was not the same controlled, well planned May from before. She was disorganized and Reid was fairly certain that she didn't even know exactly what she wanted to gain from this.

He was about to ask her what he was supposed to say when they called back, but when he looked up he realized something.

May was _crying._

Silent tears ran over her cheeks, creating paths in the light dirt there.

"May?" he said tentatively. For some reason, he wanted to help her. As strange and illogical as it sounded. Yes, he wanted her locked up in jail, but that didn't mean he would ever wish pain, physical or emotional, on someone. He knew what it was like to be smart yet unappreciated. People always underestimated him because of his age even when he proved time and time again that he more than compensated for his age with his intelligence.

She looked away from him, out the window into the silent night.

"He always protected me." It was so quiet, Reid almost missed it.

"Chris?" Reid said quietly.

"Yes. He stayed behind so I could get away. We fight a lot, but he always protected me." Reid wasn't sure why she was telling him this, but he was eager to know more. Not only would it potentially talk her down, but he also just wanted to know what went wrong. What pushed a seventeen year old girl, who could've had a bright future, to murder?

"When we were little, my mom died. And my dad started drinking a lot. Sometimes he would…he would hurt us. He liked Chris more so he went after me more often. But Chris always tried to get Dad to leave me alone. Then when I got a chance to move up a grade, he got really mad. I thought he'd be proud, which was stupid I guess," she sniffed and wiped a few fresh tears away. "But I still hoped. He told me that intelligence had no purpose in life and that I should be more like my brother. He played hockey, Chris did. He liked to get into fights and in hockey, he could get into fights without getting into trouble with the school. My dad wouldn't agree to let me move up a grade. He kept saying how grades and school didn't matter. Then my dad died about five years ago. Chris took care of me. But then he went to med school. He wanted to be a surgeon, he liked blood and stuff." She gave a small smile, still facing the window, at the memory of his brother. It suddenly fell off her face and tears began to slip down her face faster. "I just wanted to prove my dad wrong. I wanted to show how smart I was. I didn't mean for it to get this far. I didn't really want to hurt people, but Chris only agreed to help me if I let him hurt them. So I agreed. But I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to get so many people killed. And I didn't mean to get Chris killed and I don't want to kill you." She brought her hands to her face and began to weep.

Reid just stared at her in shock. There were far more layers to this girl than he had ever expected. She wasn't your usual slightly unhinged psychopath who liked to kill people and used everyone and anyone to get what they wanted. And for a brief, somewhat unreasonable, moment, Reid couldn't imagine the sobbing girl before him as a killer. Maybe as an assistant to a murderer, but…She seemed neither submissive nor dominant anymore. It was like an equal relationship between Chris and May, both of them using their own strengths. May using her intelligence to get what she wanted and prove her own brilliance to the world, and Chris using his sadistic nature to aid his sister and get access to fresh victims to torture. An equal partnership. A Yin and Yang. Yin, representing softness, brilliance, passivity and femininity, was May. And Yang, representing aggression, focus, strength and masculinity, was Chris.

And now Yin was without her Yang. And it had pushed her to the edge.

"Then why are you doing this?" Reid asked softly. "Why don't you just leave before my team figures out what's going on?"

"He won't let me."

"Who?" Reid asked. Oh god, not a third person too.

"Chris."

"What?" Reid asked, surprised.

"Chris told me. I can hear him in my head."

"What does he say?" Reid asked as calmly as he could manage. Did she have a dissociative identity disorder? But she hadn't acted like Chris, she referred to him in third person. Had his death simply pushed her to the edge?

"He told me I had to get revenge for his death." She quickly wiped her eyes dry and sat up straighter. "Spencer, I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want to hurt you. I don't, but I do want revenge for my brother's death. And I valued him far more than I value you. I don't blame you for his death. You didn't do it. But, the only way I can think to get revenge on your team is through you. I'm sorry, I really am, but that's just how it is." As she went on she sounded more and more like a mother explaining to her child why he can't have a dog.

Before anything else could be said, Reid's cell phone rang.

May looked down at it and then back up at Reid, a strange look in her eyes.

"And the game begins again."

PART IV: A New Game

"Hotch, what's going on?" Morgan asked as he tiredly entered the BAU conference room. All he knew was that Hotch had called him and told him that everyone was meeting there and that it was urgent.

By the looks of things, Reid was the only one yet to show. Odd, Morgan thought to himself, Reid was usually the quickest to make it there.

"I believe Reid's in trouble," Hotch said rather bluntly.

"What?" Morgan asked in disbelief as he dropped into an open seat. "How can that possibly be? We haven't been back for five hours and he's already in danger? How do you know?" Morgan asked.

"He called me earlier-"

"Wait, Reid called you? So why do you think he's in trouble?" Prentiss asked.

"Well, He sounded very nervous, like he was unsure of what he was calling me for. The whole conversation was incredibly un-Reid-like and very suspicious. Also, he told me to get everyone here then call him back and you know Reid wouldn't have me wake you all up and come down here unless it was important."

"What do you think could've happened?" Garcia asked fearfully. Her Junior G-man was in danger again! Didn't the poor kid ever get a break?

"Only one way to find out." Hotch pulled out his cell phone. "Now," he said as he looked around at everyone, "I'll talk to him and try to figure out what's going on. Garcia I want you to try and trace the call, everyone else, please try and stay quiet. Listen for things in the background and anything in Reid's voice that might help. Also, Garcia, can you record the conversation, just in case?"

Garcia nodded then worked her tech-magic before nodding to Hotch to begin. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever he might hear. Reid's number was swiftly dialed and Hotch set the phone, on speaker, in the center of the table.

"Reid?" Hotch asked immediately. "We're all here, even Garcia. Now what the hell is going on?" A few people around the table raised their eyes as Hotch swore, but he ignored them. Perhaps it was a bit unprofessional, but he was far more worried than he was willing to say. Something was definitely up, he could feel it.

" _It's Aaron, right?"_ A young, feminine voice said. She sounded confident. Hotch's attention was caught by Morgan as he leapt up from his seat, throwing his hands down on the table.

"Mayella?" Morgan sounded some combination of pissed and frightened. Everyone's eyes widened. Mayella? The Mayella?

Reid was in a lot more danger than they thought.

" _Hello, Derek."_ Her voice was cold. So it _was_ her. JJ and Garcia both gasped and Prentiss' mouth hung slightly agape. Rossi was, as usual, a cool face of neutrality, but Hotch could detect a hint of worry in his eyes. Morgan's eyes turned hard as steel and he went rigid.

Then there was Reid.

What must he be feeling? Hotch couldn't imagine. To not only be attacked once, but to be attacked _again_ a week later? Hotch would be scared out of his mind.

"What the hell do you want? Where's Reid?" Morgan demanded. Hotch sent a look at Morgan. _Control yourself_ , he mouthed. They didn't know what frame of mind the young woman was in and if Morgan pissed her off, then she might take it out on Reid. Hotch wouldn't let that happen.

" _Watch yourself, Derek, I'd hate for Spencer here to suffer because of your temper,"_ she warned. Hotch could practically hear the smirk on her face. It only fueled his anger more. She was cocky, the ball was back in her court. Hopefully her arrogance would lead to a mistake.

Hotch looked over at Garcia and nodded, signaling her to start tracing the call.

"Miss. Roberts, can you tell me what you hope to gain from this?" Hotch asked, trying to stay calm.

" _I'm not an idiot, Aaron, I know what motive means,"_ she snapped irritably. _"But, what I want? Hmm… that's a tough one. Well, actually, it's quite simple when you really get down to it. My motive is a need for revenge for my brother's death. I want you to feel the same loss I did. I want to make you suffer for killing him, to know the pain I know."_

"We didn't have a choice, he had pulled a gun-" Hotch tried to reason, but she cut him off.

" _You had plenty of options. Do not delude yourself into thinking otherwise,"_ she snarled.

Garcia suddenly made a noise and her eyes widened. Hotch wondered where May had taken Reid that was so shocking. He held up a hand telling Garcia to wait a minute before telling him.

" _You could have aimed to disarm, not kill."_ It was true that perhaps they had let their personal feelings towards Reid's kidnapper dictate their actions a bit more than they should. " _But, that's not the point,"_ she said calming down once again, _"this is not about what could have been done. What's done is done as they say. Now, I do believe your technical analysis is there, correct?"_

Garcia made another noise and Morgan put a hand on her arm, though he continued to glare angrily at the phone.

"She had nothing to do with your brother's death-"

" _Didn't I just go over this? What's done is done, the past is in the past, whatever you want to say. Anyway, I merely wanted to tell her that I am aware she is tracing this call and I am aware that she will figure out that I'm in Spencer's apartment, so I won't bother being all mysterious about my location"_

So that's what had Garcia so shocked.

Hotch remembered Elle telling him how hard it had been for her to be attacked in the one place a person should always be safe, their home. Hopefully Reid would be able to come out of this.

Hotch trusted Reid, had total faith in him. But sometimes things were just too far out of your control. Reid may be smart, but he wasn't a miracle worker.

He didn't have long to ponder about it, because Mayella continued.

" _Do you like games, Aaron?"_

"This isn't a game, though. These are the lives of actual people you're-"

" _Did I ask if this_ was _a game? No, I did not. And quite frankly, I don't care if you like games or not. I was merely asking to be polite. It doesn't really matter if you like games or not because it's too late."_

"Too late for what?" Hotch asked, fear building in his chest.

" _To turn back. The game has already begun. Now, the first rule, if anyone, anyone at all, enters this house, I will kill Spencer before you even have a chance to tell me to freeze, understood?"_

Hotch closed his eyes and let out a pained sigh. This couldn't be happening. He felt sick to his stomach as he thought of how relieved he'd been just yesterday to be finally leaving New Hampshire. It felt like some warped dream. But, at the very least, Reid was alive, albeit potentially hurt to an unknown degree, but alive. And that was what mattered at the moment.

" _Am I understood?"_ she snapped, irritated with his lack of answer. Hotch opened his eyes and looked around. Both JJ and Garcia's eyes were suspiciously wet and although Emily's eyes were dry, the pain was evident on her face. Morgan's elbows were resting on the table and his head rested on his hands. Rossi's eyebrows were slightly drawn together and a calculating look dominated his face.

"Yes. But why?"

" _Two reasons really. Like I said I want you to know the pain I knew. Waiting, unknowing if precious Spencer is injured or even dead – and that's tortuous, isn't it?"_ she asked gleefully. _"And two, I need a little time to…plan my end game, you could say."_

End game – that wasn't good at all. But apparently she hadn't decided yet how she wanted it all to end. That meant there was still hope she'd keep Reid alive as long as they didn't break the rules. That meant there was a chance Reid could talk her down, change her mind. Hotch didn't get a chance to decide what to say before she started again.

" _As I've pointed out, I am not stupid. I know you'll find a way to eventually get to him. It's just a matter of whether you'll find him in time or not."_

The line went dead.

PART V: Purposes

"Two reasons really. Like I said I want you to know the pain I knew. Waiting, unknowing if precious Spencer is injured or even dead – that's tortuous. And two, I need a little time to…plan my end game, you could say." Reid sat still and silent as he heard May talk with his team.

What he wouldn't give to talk to his team for just a minute. Tell them he was okay and reassure them that everything would be okay, that they'd figure something out, he had faith.

"As I've pointed out, I am not stupid. I know you'll find a way to eventually get to him. It's just a matter of whether you'll find him in time or not."

Reid closed his eyes, knowing how much that statement would hurt his team. They'd be nervous, understandably, and beyond worried. Morgan would probably be pissed as hell too.

She hung up and, in a very uncharacteristic display of anger, threw the phone as hard as she could against the wall. It smashed into small pieces and tumbled to the ground. Reid felt a bit of hope break with it.

The message was clear – no negotiations. May wanted to do this her own way in her own time.

May turned around and smoothed her dress as though smashing phones was a very regular occurrence. Reid stiffened a bit, unsure if her sudden violence would be taken out on him.

"I think they get the point," she said sweetly. Reid's eyes wandered over to his home phone and he realized too late what he'd just done.

"Good idea," she said as she walked over and ripped the phone cord from the wall. She sat down on the armrest of the couch and looked around thoughtfully.

"So, what _is_ your end game?" he asked hopefully in a somewhat timid tone. He wasn't sure if it was really a good idea to ask. On one hand, the longer she was undecided, the longer and better the chance for him to talk her down was. But on the other hand, he couldn't do anything or make a plan if he didn't know what she was planning.

May rose to her feet and made her way to the window. She looked out into the darkness as though the stars spelled out the answer. She stayed there, staring out into the night for several minutes before she spoke.

"Spencer," she said softly. For the first time it wasn't cheery with a hint of supremacy or even hateful, which were apparently her two favorite tones. She said it like one would say the name of a good friend in a serious situation. She sounded tired yet relieved to not be alone.

And that caused another thought to hit Reid. Maybe the reason she had decided to use him to get revenge on the team was because she felt closest to him. Because he identified better with her than any other members of the team. For one strange moment, Reid thought, had they met in a different way, and had May not been a killer, they might have become good friends.

May raised her right hand and placed it on the cool glass, looking like someone swearing an oath. Her left hand still held the gun loosely. Because of the position of Reid's couch, he could still see her face fairly well. Her eyes looked glassy and worn out. She removed her hand and began to trace shapes into the light condensation on the window from her breath with her finger.

"Spencer, I…I'm tired, truthfully. My brother and I…we go together and without him, I am nothing. I can't go on without him, nor do I intend to."

"The FBI can get you help. Everything will be okay if you let them help you." Reid ignored the irony of him telling his kidnapper that it would be okay.

"Maybe I don't want help," she said so quietly Reid almost didn't hear it. "Everyone has a purpose, Spencer. Sometimes we fulfill them and sometimes we don't. And Spencer," she turned away from the window and faced Reid, "I have yet to fulfill my final purpose. I realize now, that killing those people was wrong. I realize I ruined my overall purpose as well as stopping them from doing what they were meant to. It took my brother's death to convince me of that. But it's too late to change anything. I have dug myself too deep. And now I have but one final thing to do."

"What's that?" Reid asked softly.

"To get revenge and then finish the job," she said as her eyes drifted back to the window.

"Is that what your brother would want? For you to kill someone then take your own life?" Reid asked, trying to appeal to her logical side. "Surely your brother wouldn't want that for you? He cared about you, he'd want you to go on and-"

But he had gone too far.

"Stop, stop! STOP!" she shrieked hysterically. She threw her hands over her ears and closing her eyes tightly. After a minute she opened her eyes and pointed the gun at Reid. "Don't you dare tell me what he would have wanted! You didn't know him and it's your team's fault he's not here!" she screamed.

Reid rose his hands in surrender and said softly, "that's not what I meant," hoping to spare himself from being shot.

May's face slid back into a look of calm and she tilted her head slightly to the left. She looked dangerously like a curious child.

"Do you know what my sonuvabitch father did to me once?" she asked, only letting the slightest bit of emotion show when she talked of her father. After that it was back to a calm look and calm voice. "I brought home my straight A report card. And we got into a fight and he ended up getting really, really drunk." May stepped a few feet closer, but keeping the gun trained on Reid. "We used to have a gun in the back room," she said dangerously quiet. "And he got it out and pointed it at me and he said, 'tell me, bitch, what will your pretty little brain be worth splattered all over the wall?' and do you know what he did?"

"He shot you?"

"He shot me."

The end of her short sentence was punctuated with the sound of gunshot being fired.

PART VI: Robinson Crusoe

Reid had to admit, for a seventeen year old girl with no formal training, May was a damn good shot.

Time seemed to slow as the gun went off. He knew what was coming, and tried to brace himself for the pain.

They say you see your life flash before your eyes just when you're about to die.

It was the same for Reid.

_XXX_

" _I don't know everything, I mean, despite the fact that you think I do," Reid said._

" _I never said that. When have I ever said that?" Morgan defended._

" _Everyday since I met you."_

" _This morning at breakfast," Elle added._

" _Yesterday when he beat you at cards," Hotch said. "We've got one minute," Hotch said before walking away._

" _Haven't any of you ever heard of sarcasm?" Morgan asked._

_XXX_

" _Nothing's happening," JJ said from over his shoulder._

" _Shh, watch!" Reid said eagerly. Suddenly the black canister "rocket" shot up and both JJ and Garica jumped._

_The flying canister smacked Prentiss right in between eyes._

" _Oh, ah, what?" she asked as she looked around._

" _I'm so sorry, Emily," Reid apologized while Garica and JJ snickered._

_XXX_

" _What's doghouse in Spanish?" Hotch asked from his seat on the jet._

" _La casa de pero?" Reid suggested._

" _La casita de pero," Elle said, rolling her R's perfectly._

" _That's what I said," Reid said quietly._

" _Face it, chico, you're only a genius in English," Elle said as she got up from her seat._

_XXX_

" _You should see what happens when you type death into a search engine."_

" _Reid," Morgan said chuckling, "no wonder you can't get a date."_

_XXX_

" _Well, um…if I'm ever in Washington, if I were to give you a call, would that be okay?"_

" _Yeah, I'd like that a lot," Reid replied with a smile._

_XXX_

" _I knew you'd understand." Reid choked out as Hotch hugged him._

_XXX_

The BAU, it was all the BAU. They were his family. JJ , the caring mother; Morgan, the teasing yet protective older brother; Garcia, the zany aunt; Hotch, the collected father; Prentiss, the sister who could hide all emotion; and Rossi, the reserved uncle who secretly cared. And Reid. The child. Despite Reid's constant efforts to prove he could handle himself, he would always be the youngest. Always be the one they protected the most. And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

Reid's eyes flickered open.

_I'm staring at my ceiling. Why am I staring at the ceiling? Shouldn't I be dead?_

The pain suddenly hit him next and a groan slipped past his lips. His eyes were forced closed in pain, which came in waves from his shoulder.

_Shoulder – it was a shoulder shot not a head shot._

"Spencer?" A timid voice asked. His eyes snapped open again and found themselves peering into the green eyes of Mayella.

"Uhhh," Reid slurred, unable to get anything else out.

"Here," she said, holding out a towel he recognized as coming from his kitchen. Very carefully he took and pressed it to his left shoulder, but removed it almost immediately as a scream was ripped from his throat. It was pain like he had never known.

Something was wrong.

Reid had never been shot before, but that seemed like more than just a gunshot wound.

"Spencer," May said, drawing him from his ramblings, "listen very carefully," Reid felt slightly taken aback by that statement. He wasn't a teenager being told off for skipping class. "I want to do this with a little pain as possible on both of our parts, but I won't hesitate to hurt you if I have to."

Reid wanted to point out that there was absolutely no reason to shot him before, but he figured that wouldn't go over well with the slightly crazed girl.

"Okay." It sounded kind of stupid to say, but Reid couldn't nod and a yes seemed too obedient, too willing.

Reid didn't move, knowing it wouldn't go over well with his injured shoulder. Instead he remained laying on the couch with his upper body supported by the armrest. Forcing himself to work through the pain, he focused on May.

May went over to a bookshelf and scanned over some of the titles.

"Do you have Robinson Crusoe?"

"Um, yes," Reid said, completely surprised by the request. "The shelf to your left under D." Perhaps it was a little OCD to arrange his bookshelf in alphabetical order by author's last name (Daniel Defoe) but it provided something to do when he was bored and alone in his mostly empty apartment.

May selected the desired book from the shelf and began flipping through it, watching the page numbers. She stopped midway and began to read.

"How frequently, in the course of our lives, the evil which in itself we seek most to shun, and which, when we are fallen into, is the most dreadful to us, is oftentimes the very means or door of our deliverance, by which alone we can be raised again from the affliction we are fallen into."

Reid recognized the passage, having read the book many times even though he had it stored permanently in his memory.

She closed the book and set it on the coffee table. Back to the window she went, though this time she sat on the arm of the chair over there.

"I didn't mean to go this far," she repeated her earlier statement. "I just wanted to show my knowledge. Then I came up with the idea of the game, then Chris got involved and pushed it further. Then before I knew it people were dying from the torture. My third victim refused to play and I was so mad that I didn't care when they died. But the others…I always told myself that knowledge was important. But I did nothing but use my knowledge to murder others. I didn't prove anything other than that I'm no better than my father." A small tear slipped from her eye and snacked down her cheek.

Reid didn't know what to say to the girl. He didn't want to risk being injured further.

Suddenly a noise came from outside.

May wiped away the tear than peaked out the window and looked down. She turned back to Reid with a hint of madness in her eyes.

"They're here."

PART VII: Arriving

May reloaded the gun and once again pointed it at Reid's head.

"Just for insurance," she assured, not that that made Reid feel any better. She moved closer towards the kitchen, keeping the gun on Reid, and peeked out the window.

"May," Reid said tentatively.

"What?" she asked without looking back. Maybe Reid had heard her wrong, but he could have sworn she sounded nervous.

"Um, how long are we going to do this?" She looked back at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?" if the situation hadn't been so serious Reid would have laughed at her tone of voice. She sounded like a curious kid in school trying to understand a new idea not a slightly crazed murderer.

"Well…you've cut off contact with the outside and um…since you don't really have any demands…" Reid said uncertainly. But it was true. Were they really just going to sit here until she decided she'd had enough and killed herself and maybe Reid while she was at it?

May whipped around and stalked up to him. She leaned in very close until their noses were almost touching.

"This ends when I say it does."

XXX

As tiring as it was, Hotch was glad for the four floor trek up the stairs. Hotch and Morgan were going up the right hand staircase while Emily took the elevator with a local police man and Rossi took the left hand staircase with another local. This covered all exits from the fourth floor where Reid's apartment was located. Since Morgan had a previous connection with Mayella, Hotch had decided he'd be the one to partner up with someone. Outside were a few police men, one of which was attempting to get a view through Reid's living room window though it was too dark to see much. JJ was also outside. There weren't technically any news reporters here yet, as it was early morning, but she had all but demanded that she come so she would be kept updated on Reid.

The stair trek allowed for Hotch to organize his thoughts then push them aside so he could be all business once they got to Reid's apartment.

Anger was a main emotion at the moment. Anger at Mayella for starting this again. Anger at the team for not thinking of something like this. Physically Reid had been fine, _had_ been - who knew about now, so no one at really thought about staying with him for a bit. In hindsight they should have seen something like this coming. There was also anger at Reid, then there was anger at himself for being angry with Reid. As easy as it was to blame everyone, including Reid himself, for not seeing this coming, in reality, it was no one's fault. How were they to suspect something like this?

They'd thought that once they left Manchester, the case would be over. Maybe the culprit wasn't caught, but she was no longer the FBI's business. When was a case _ever_ over just like that? Even on a regular case it didn't just _end._ There were always doubts and regrets and what ifs and nightmares, though everyone pretended that the latter never happened when, truthfully, it plagued them all often.

Guilt was the other main emotion weighing Hotch down. Guilt at himself for not protecting Reid even though he had just told himself how illogical it was to blame themselves for this. When he'd first met Reid, he honestly hadn't known what to make of the awkward genius. Then he'd gotten to know him a bit better. Now, like every time Reid was in trouble, Hotch was feeling quite protective. Hotch supposed it was probably just his fatherly instincts kicking in to protect someone younger. Reid was different than the rest of them. He let his emotions steer him more. He was younger and got more emotionally attached to cases. Perhaps it wasn't the best quality for the job, but it certainly helped the rest of them to see past all the death and torture and go one with life. Each of them contributed something to the team, it was what allowed them to work so well together. Reid contributed youth and innocence. It probably wasn't good for the team to be as close as they were, because in truth, something could happen at any minute to take anyone of them away, but it was too late now. Hotch wasn't sure if the team would be able to go on if they lost Reid.

The problem was, Hotch wasn't sure if Reid himself would be able to go back to work. There was only so much one person could take.

Sometimes a person couldn't just walk away.

XXX

"Do you hear that?"

Reid could in fact hear the footsteps coming down the hall. No doubt it was his team. As weird as it was, knowing his team was right outside comforted him a bit. This time the game was out of his hands. He couldn't do much what with the unbearable pain in his shoulder, though the bleeding had slowed slightly. The gun trained on him also prevented him from doing much. So he had to rely on his team to get him out of here this time. As much as he trusted them, he still wasn't sure even they, the best profiling team of the FBI, would be able to get him out of this.

"Get up," May hissed, keeping her eyes fully trained on the door. Had Reid not been injured, he would have probably tried to knock the gun from her while she wasn't looking, but the fact remained that he was injured.

Standing sent wave after wave of pain through his shoulder, but he pushed it aside. If he didn't do as she asked, no matter how much pain, she'd hurt him worse, or maybe even kill him. He repeated this to himself over and over to keep him going. He studiously ignored the way he swayed slightly on his feet as he made his way forward, closer to his front door.

May came up behind him and snaked one hand around his waist. Even though it was a little awkward, he was grateful that she didn't wrap her arm around his neck as that would no doubt hurt like hell.

The cold metal of the gun bit into his chin as she pressed it against his soft flesh. There was no way she'd miss, even if she tried to pull back it'd still kill him.

Reid felt his heart rate pick up. This was it. It all came down to this. How the team played the next few minutes.

The sound of the safety being clicked off was the loudest thing he'd ever heard.

PART VIII: Negotiations

"Mayella Robbins?" Hotch called from the other side of the door.

"Yes, Aaron?" May asked playfully.

"Miss. Robbins, why don't you let Reid go? he didn't have anything to do with your brother's death," Hotch said calmly without emotion. It was stretching the truth a bit, Reid thought. After all, if he and Morgan hadn't snuck away things might have gone incredibly different that night. Perhaps in their favor, perhaps not. They'd never know what would have happened that night.

"You've gotten your revenge-"

"Have I, Aaron?" May interrupted. "Have I really?"

"Miss. Robbins, we can get you help…" Reid internally winced. That probably wasn't the best thing to say, not that Hotch knew that. As Reid predicted, May didn't react well. Her face contorted and she subconsciously pressed the gun tighter to Reid causing him to flinch.

"I don't need help!" she shrieked. "I am not some crazy lunatic who talks to themselves and babbles about nonsense."

"That's not what I was inferring-"

"I don't care what you were inferring!" She spat the last word out as though it was something filthy. Reid was slightly dismayed to see distress on her face. If she panicked…well who knew what'd happen to him.

"Why don't you open the door so we can have a conversation like civilized and intelligent people?" Hotch requested, still calm. Reid wasn't sure if May was just starting to give up or if it was the intelligence comment, but she reached forward and unlocked the door.

"Only you can come in," she said quietly. The door slowly opened and Hotch stepped in cautiously. Reid could just barely see the others in the hallway. Morgan sent him a small smile. Reid tried to return with a reassuring smile, but he was pretty sure it came out as a grimace.

Hotch's eyes scanned over the scene, stopping only to hover over Reid's shoulder injury for a minute.

"Miss. Robbins, please, let Reid go," Hotch again requested.

Reid could see the dilemma. Hotch had nothing to negotiate with. The only thing May wanted was indefinable – revenge.

"Why? Are you worried about dear Spencer?" May mocked.

"Whether I am or not is irrelevant," Hotch's eyes darted over to meet Reid's and Reid understood the gesture. Hotch was assuring him he was worried, that he did care. "Reid is just an innocent man who hasn't done anything to deserve what you're trying to do to him."

"It's not him I'm trying to punish, it's you," May said simply. "He just happens to be the tool to do it with."

"Reid is not a tool, he's a person and-"

"You think you've suffered?" May suddenly demanded. "Because what you've gone through is NOTHING compared to how I felt losing my brother. You haven't even begun to feel the pain I know every day!"

"May, it's not Hotch's fault, he didn't have a choi-" Reid started softly, but he was cut off by two voices.

"Shut up!" May snarled at the same time as Hotch warningly said "Reid!" Reid felt silent.

It amazed him how incredibly vulnerable a person could feel when relying solely on others. Reid had grown up taking care of himself and his mother. He'd learned to rely on himself and no one else. Even though he'd made friends and such with the people of the BAU, he was still very self-reliant and kept most things to himself. But now, he didn't have a choice whether he lived or died. It was completely out of his hands.

Reid's eyes fell on the hall clock which was showing it was a few minutes to three in the morning. An idea sparked in Reid's brilliant brain. Facts and statistics seemed to appeal to Mayella like nothing else, so maybe he could once again try and appeal to her intelligent and curious side.

"Did you know three a.m. is often considered the time when the body is closest to death when you're sleeping? Your pulse and breathing are supposedly at their slowest at three o'clock, though this has never really been tested of course."

"Is that so?" May asked, half sounding interested, half sounded impatient.

"Yeah…" Reid said quietly, unsure whether or not May actually wanted more on the topic or not.

The look Hotch sent Reid silenced any further thoughts.

He was once again reminded just how out of his control this was.

XXX

Hotch was confident in his shooting ability. He knew the feel of the gun in his hand; he knew the power with which it would recoil. The smell was familiar to him as were the sounds of firing a gun and the screams of pain when it met its target. Hotch was well aware of the damage a gun could do. He knew the points on the body that would bleed out the quickest and the spots that would bleed slowly and painfully. He knew what it would look like as a bullet tore the flesh. He could always spot an opening if there was one to be found. And, most importantly, nearly always, if not always, hit dead on.

So when Mayella shifted slightly to the left, Hotch spotted the few inches of her own shoulder she exposed and took the shot, feeling assured that he wouldn't actually hit Reid no matter how close it came.

At the sound of the bullet, the three remaining BAU members and the two locals in the hall came charging in. Mayella was forced back and Reid went down with her. As soon as he could properly breathe through the excruciating pain, Reid pushed himself off of Mayella and to the side. Hotch grabbed his uninjured shoulder and pulled him back. Reid rested his weight against Hotch's leg, lacking the minimal strength to even push himself up. Even if it was awkward, neither man complained.

Hotch kept his gun trained on the girl until she was cuffed at which point he slowly dropped to his knees. Reid put up no resistance as his body slid back to rest his boss's chest.

"Reid?"

Nothing.

"Reid, how bad are you hurt?" Hotch asked. No matter how tired Reid was, Hotch couldn't help if he didn't know what the damage was.

Reid still said nothing. Figuring Reid had slipped into unconsciousness, Hotch shifted Reid's weight so he could get a view at the young man's face. Sure enough, Reid was no longer conscious, the strain of the night, or morning as it was, catching up to him. Needing to get a judge on how bad Reid was hurt, Hotch placed his fingers to the pulse point on his neck. The stronger it was, the better Reid was.

But there was no beat under his fingertips at all.

Because there was no pulse to be found.

The clock struck three.

PART IX: I Will Survive

"Reid!" Hotch yelled in shock. "He's not breathing!" That got everyone's attention. Hotch laid Reid flat on his back and positioned his head.

"Rossi, get paramedics up here now! Prentiss, keep pressure on his shoulder injury and Morgan help me with the CPR." Everyone was quick to follow commands. Doing something would keep emotions in check and that's exactly what they all needed. Morgan dropped to his knees on one side of Reid and began doing chest compressions while Prentiss tried to stem the bleeding on the other side.

Once Morgan finished chest compressions, Hotch gave Reid two breathes, but Reid remained still and lifeless.

"C'mon, man, don't do this to me," Morgan begged as he started chest compressions again.

They completed the process twice more before the paramedics got there. Prentiss and Hotch moved out of the way while Morgan worked with the paramedic so they could switch people without breaking rhythm. Hotch spotted JJ coming through the doorway.

Hotch knew JJ technically wasn't supposed to be up here, especially since he had specifically told her to stay down below. But seeing the look on her face, Hotch knew now wasn't the time.

"Spence!" She shouted. She lunged forward, trying to get to her fallen friend, but Prentiss wrapped two arms tightly around JJ's waist and held her back. After a few more weak struggles, JJ turned towards Prentiss and began to cry silently. Prentiss pulled her into a tight hug and they held onto each other for dear life. Even Prentiss, who was a master at compartmentalizing, had a suspiciously wet eyes. Rossi came up to stand silently beside them, watching the scene before them with sad eyes.

The paramedic working with Morgan tipped Reid's head back and slipped a clear plastic tube attached to a blue pump bag down Reid's throat.

Once Morgan switched out with a paramedic, he stumbled back a bit and stood, shocked. It hadn't registered until now what was actually going on. Reid, his little brother in all but blood, was dying. Was technically dead already. Hotch came up beside him.

"Reid's strong, he'll make it." Hotch said, though even to Morgan it sounded hopeless.

"How long has it been?" One of the paramedics asked to the room in general.

"Don't give up on him yet!" Morgan found himself shouting. Reid did not spend all night fighting for his life just for some damn paramedics to give up when things looked bleak. His brother deserved more than that.

"He's back!" someone shouted. Several shouts of joy and relief echoed around the room.

"Alright, let's get going." Reid was lifted onto a gurney and rushed out of the room. The team followed, still in shock from the night's happenings. Both Hotch and Morgan asked to ride in the ambulance without realizing the other had asked and both were denied. So the four weary profilers and the one weary media liaison made their way over to the black SUVs.

XXX

"How's my baby?" Garica demanded as she frantically made her way into the hospital waiting room where the rest of the team, save Reid, were. Garcia's hair was slightly messier than usual and there were streaks of black mascara down her cheeks, telling tales of crying on the journey to the hospital.

JJ was sitting, resting her head on Prentiss's shoulder. Rossi sat next to her. To an outsider, he looked emotionless, but the team could see the worry in his eyes. Hotch sat next to Rossi, glancing about every now and then. And lastly, Morgan, paced around in a circle, occasionally showing anger on his face.

"We don't know any more than we told you over the phone yet," Hotch said. "Have a seat," Hotch offered. Garcia nodded and sat down numbly. When Morgan passed by her on his pacing route, Garcia looked up hopefully but was shot down as Morgan continued without a glance in her direction.

"Morgan," Hotch, who had seen the whole thing, called. "Can I speak to you in the hallway, please?" Morgan nodded, though he certainly didn't' look happy about it.

"We'll let you know if the doctor comes," JJ assured him.

"Yes?" Morgan asked, perhaps a bit impatiently, as they got into the hall. Hotch gave him a look that clearly read I'll-let-that-disrespect-slide-for-now-but-don't-d o-it-again.

"You need to get yourself together, Garcia needs you." Morgan glanced back to the waiting room for a minute.

Hotch wasn't a hundred percent sure of what Morgan was thinking, but, based on his own feelings, he could hazard a guess.

"This wasn't your fault you know," said Hotch, repeating the words Rossi had said to him a little over a week ago when they sat on the porch steps of Mayella's home in New Hampshire.

"I should have been there."

"Because Mayella took you too?"

"No, but…I should have figured she'd do something like this. She got a little…obsessed with Reid. I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier. How could I have thought she'd just let Reid walk away?"

"Morgan, none of us could have seen this coming. Maybe we should have suspected something, but we didn't. And there's nothing we can do about that. What's done is done. We have to move on and focus on what we can do now," Hotch said.

"Hotch…what if Reid doesn't want to come back to the BAU?" Morgan asked quietly, unknowingly voicing Hotch's own fears.

"Then we have to respect his wishes. We can try to convince him otherwise, but really it's up to him. And I'd rather he quit than go back to work if he can't handle the strain because this job can get very stressful as we all know." Morgan gave a small nod. "Now let's get back in there," Hotch said, gesturing towards the waiting room.

Again Morgan nodded and he walked back to the rest of the team, still deep in thought. But now he recognized Garcia's need for comfort and sat next to her. She immediately put her head on his shoulder and he rubbed her back softly.

"It'll be okay, baby girl."

About ten minutes later, Hotch's phone rang.

"Hotchner," he answered tonelessly.

"Hi, Agent, it's Officer Simmons with the police. We found something at Agent Reid's house that might be of interest to you." He proceeded to describe a note, which, based on time estimations, Reid had apparently received before Mayella broke in.

"So he knew?"

"He might not have taken it seriously, but, yes, he did know."

"Thank you for informing me." Hotch hung up and turned to the team.

"Who was that?" Rossi asked. Hotch cleared his throat then told them everything the officer had told him.

"Why didn't he tell us immediately?" JJ asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"The only one who can answer that is Reid, so we'll just have to wait."

And wait they did.

PART X: Tales Exchanged

"Family of Spencer Reid?" All six BAU members rushed up to her, causing her to look up in surprise.

"Um…family only?" she asked, eyeing each and every one of them.

"I'm Reid's emergency medical contact, but whatever you tell me, I'm going to turn around and tell them, so you might as well just save us the time and tell them too." The poor woman looked slightly flustered, but after a minute of stammering, managed to get herself together.

"Um, well, it's a little unorthodox, but I suppose…yes, alright. Well, first of, we found some older injuries that seem to be healing well…" she trailed off, silently asking them for an explanation.

"Dr. Reid works for the FBI and was recently injured on the job," Hotch said dismissively.

"Alright…" she said unsurely, but continued nonetheless. "Well, as you're probably aware, Dr. Reid was shot in his shoulder. The bullet went through cleanly, so no severe damage was sustained in that sense. Both wounds should heal with only minor scarring. The blood loss sustained was far more worrisome, but we managed to get him stable and, with a few blood transfusions, he'll be fine. The other, more severe injury sustained…"

Everyone paled. There had been more? They hadn't seen anything else but the gunshot injury…what else could have happened that was even worse than that?

"The bullet nicked the edge of his clavicle, the collar bone, giving him a minor clavicle fracture. Because it wasn't major, no surgery was needed at the moment. About 90% of clavicle fractures are successfully healed with non-operative treatment, and we're pretty sure this will be the case with Dr. Reid. The current practice for treating a clavicle fracture is a sling, pain relief and x-rays every week for a few weeks to make sure things are healing correctly."

Everyone exchanged a couple of glances, thinking the same thing so Hotch spoke up about it.

"Dr. Reid… _prefers_ to not use pain medication."

"Sir, you have to understand, a clavicle fracture, no matter how small, is incredibly painful."

"Yes, I realize that, but Dr. Reid doesn't use any form of narcotic under any circumstance," he said, hoping the woman would get the hint and just accept it.

She seemed to catch on, but was still persistent. "We can give him a lower pain medication that isn't as strong, but is a non-narcotic," she said, looking understanding.

"Thank you."

"Also, I was informed that Dr. Reid wasn't breathing when the EMTs arrived. Lack of sufficient oxygen to the brain can lead to brain problems. However," she said quickly when she saw all the distressed faces before her pale with worry. "We don't believe this is the case with Dr. Reid, though he may have trouble recalling some events from last night."

"Can we see him?"

"Yes, of course, follow me," she turned down the hall and led them a little ways to a room. "Visiting hours don't technically start for a few more hours, but I'll let it slide. They do, however, end at 8 p.m. and you may _not_ stay past that," she said warningly before leaving. They quietly pushed open the door and were rather surprised to see Reid looking at them tiredly from the bed. His left arm was in a sling and there were bandages around his shoulder, but besides being pale, he looked pretty good considering.

"Hey, man, how are you?" Morgan asked as he took the seat closest to Reid before anyone could protest. Reid's first thought was 'like I want to get out of here' but figured that wouldn't go over well. Despite his deep hate of hospitals, he still seemed to find himself in them more than anyone else on the team. At the rate he was going, he should get a frequent visitor discount or something. He had to be the insurance company's least favorite person.

"Okay," Reid said truthfully. "Honestly," he replied in response to a few raised eyebrows. After a few moments of silence, Reid asked the question that had been burning in his mind ever since he'd woken up in the hospital. "What happened after you guys showed up? I don't really remember much." Reid got a little nervous when a few glances were exchanged.

"Why don't you tell us as much as you can about what happened to you before we showed up, then we'll tell you what happened after?" Hotch said reasonably.

"Alright, well uh, where should I start?" he asked himself, more than them.

"Why don't you start with the beginning?" Hotch suggested. The beginning? The beginning was the note, but Reid wasn't going to tell them about that. He would be in so much trouble for not reported a threat to his life to his team immediately. Especially one that had a high chance of actually being carried out.

"Well, I woke up this morning, probably around one-ish and May was…there," he finished lamely. "She had my gun and, um, made me call Hotch to gather the team," Reid said, glancing over at Hotch, who nodded. "Oh!" Reid exclaimed as he suddenly remembered something else. "My key, she had the key to my house, that's how she got in." Everyone looked shocked except Rossi and Hotch who were both impassive as usual.

"How'd she get your key?" Prentiss asked.

"She took it when she kidnapped Morgan and I, I think. Don't ask why I had it on me in New Hampshire," he added as Morgan opened his mouth to ask just that.

"Morgan, Reid, you are both to have the locks on your doors changed as soon as possible," Hotch said without missing a beat. After getting two nods of confirmation, Hotch signaled for Reid to continue.

"Then she, uh…told me a bit more about her life and eventually she told me that she could hear her brother in her head, convincing her to take revenge."

That time, not even Hotch or Rossi could control the shock that temporarily overtook their features.

"Then she, uh…um…" Reid strained his memory to remember what happened after that but couldn't draw anything but a blank. It was strange not being able to remember. He had never, ever not been able to remember. Well, except for when he was high, but that wasn't a memory road he wanted to stroll down at the moment…

"It's okay if you can't remember, Reid, you-" Hotch started.

"Wait, hang on, there's…she said…something about her father…he abused them or something like that. Told her intelligence wasn't important…" Reid trailed off as he tried to remember what came after that.

Morgan, however, took his pause as a self-doubt.

"Reid, man, that's ridiculous, intelligence is incredibly important-"

"I know," Read assured him. "Well, I'm not sure what exactly happened after that, but at some point she shot me in the shoulder then everything after that is very hazy," Reid summarized.

"Not much could have happened because we arrived shortly after you were shot," Morgan said, basing his estimate off the amount of blood Reid had lost when they arrived, feeling slightly disturbed as the images once again flooded his brain of Reid lying bloody and un-moving on the floor.

"So what did happen with you guys?"

"Basically, after you called me the first time, I got everyone together, as you , or rather Mayella, requested. Then we called the second time. Once Morgan figured out it was Mayella and Garcia figured out she was at your home, we went there. JJ insisted she come along," Hotch shot a look at the JJ who was grinning guiltily. "A few people tried to see in your living room window to figure out what was going on inside while the rest of us went upstairs, making sure to cover all the different exits from your floor. Then I talked Mayella into opening the door and eventually I saw an opening and shot her in the shoulder. After that…" here Hotch faltered for the first time. He couldn't say it. Couldn't bring himself to remember all the horrid feelings that had been going through his mind when he discovered Reid wasn't breathing, wasn't living.

"Then what?" Reid asked apprehensively.

"You stopped breathing," Prentiss said sadly.

"I died?" Reid asked, looking from face to face for confirmation. Garica's eyes were so wide that Reid was worried they might fall out of her head, however illogical a thought it was. He got the feeling she hadn't known that tiny detail.

"Yeah, they had to do CPR and stuff until the paramedics got there and they finally managed to bring you back," JJ said solemnly.

"Wow." Reid could think of nothing else to say.

"Wow is right," Morgan added.

PART XI: Confessions

"Make yourself at home," Morgan said as they entered his house. Clooney bounded up to them and Morgan gave him an affectionate pat.

Reid was planning on staying with Morgan for a few days before going back to his own place. His arm still hurt badly and he would no doubt need a little help adjusting to using one arm while his left was in a sling for his broken collar bone.

He was yet to decide if he'd get a new place or not. He didn't really know if it'd be a problem yet, staying in that apartment after everything that had gone down that night. Had it really only been one night? It felt like it'd lasted an eternity. Though the whole ride had really started almost two weeks ago when he and Morgan were first kidnapped. They'd only been there for about two days but that too had felt like much longer.

"The guest bedroom is down the hall to the left. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen whenever you want," Morgan said as he slipped his jacket and shoes off.

"What are you smiling at?" Morgan asked when he noticed the small smirk on Reid's face.

"Well, it's kind of strange isn't it? I've known you for a few years and never once have I been to your home and you've never been to mine. It took this whole thing to get us to actually see each other out of work."

While Morgan was pretty sure Reid hadn't meant it to make Morgan feel bad, it still did. Reid was his best friend yet he'd never seen him outside of work. Why? He couldn't really blame Reid – he wasn't the kind of person to call someone up and invite them over. But Morgan should have.

"Yeah well, you know," Morgan said dismissively.

"You have a nice home," Reid observed.

"Thanks, kid," he said with a chuckle.

Dinner that night was a quiet affair. Reid had nothing to say and Morgan didn't know how to say the things he wanted to. Reid ate on, oblivious to Morgan's struggle to find the right words.

Later that night, Reid sat awake reading a book when Morgan came in. He took a seat on the end of the bed. The small lamp cast a yellowish glow about the room and creating shadows across both their faces.

"Hey, Pretty Boy, what're you reading?"

"The Da Vinci Code written by Dan Brown in 2003. Did you know-"

"No I didn't," Morgan said cutting him off. "Reid, I have to ask you something…" Reid frowned slightly wondering what it could possibly be. Finally Morgan sighed and looked up.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Reid was slightly taken aback by the question. His surprise must have shown on his face because Morgan elaborated.

"I mean when you found the note."

"You know about that?" Reid asked sadly.

"Yeah, we found the note in your apartment when…we were there," he finished, not wanting to bring up the memories that would forever haunt him.

"I…I wasn't sure if it was serious or not…"

"Reid," Morgan said, "you had to know Mayella would carry out her threat."

"Well, yeah, but…all of you had just gotten back and I didn't want to make you all get up and rush down only to find she wasn't going to make a move for a while. I was going to tell you, I was just going to wait until the morning. I didn't think it would be _that_ urgent. Besides, I thought I could handle her myself…"

"Reid, everyone needs a little help sometimes. Besides, we'd all rather be woken up at some ungodly hour to find out that you're being precautionary than wake up to a call saying you were killed because you weren't."

"I'm sorry," Reid offered with a shrug.

"Just…be safe not sorry next time, okay kid?"

"Did you know that even though that's an English idiom, 'be safe not sorry,' actually traces back to Irish novelist Samuel Lover's novel Rory O' More? Actually-"

"Reid," Morgan said with a chuckle.

"Sorry," Reid replied instantly, though he was smiling slightly as well.

"There's something else I have to tell you…" Morgan said slowly.

"Yes?"

"Um, Mayella…she…she committed suicide."

"Oh." Reid didn't know what else to say; didn't know what to feel, to think. So, like always, he let his brain take over. "Did you know in the US suicide is the 4th leading cause of death between the ages of 18 and 65? And even though more females attempt suicide than males, more males are successful in it."

"Reid," Morgan said softly, clearing recognizing Reid was spewing facts as a defense mechanism. If he let facts and statistics fill and rule his brain, there was no room for emotions, especially fear.

"I just…I don't really know what to feel about that. Morgan, she's just like me."

"Reid, you're not some psycho killer…"

"That's not what I meant," Reid snapped. "I can't help but feel bad for her. Like maybe it wasn't entirely her own fault. Maybe everything just worked against her," he finished quietly, surprised at how much he'd said.

Morgan nodded.

"Sometimes we have a case and it just seems like we can't win, no matter what we do," Reid said tiredly as he slowed rubbed a hand over his face.

"But in the end it comes down to one thing. Regardless of why, the killer was killing innocent people and had to be stopped," Morgan explained, trying not to seem insensitive yet still get his point across.

"But-"

"To me, she's just another killer who went even further by kidnapping my best friend and myself then proceeded to attack you yet again, only this time in your own apartment. No matter how bad her life was, it was her choice to take it out on others. I mean, look at us. Neither of our lives were remotely easy but neither of us went on psychotic murder sprees. Look, Reid, I know it's not easy, but you did the best you could and now we just gotta move on."

Reid nodded mutely, unsure what to say.

"Night," Morgan said as he got up. He patted Reid on the leg once before exiting.

Reid sighed. He would never forget May, not even just because of his eidetic memory, but also because of the impact she'd had on his life, in more than one way.

She was so eerily similar to him. An unappreciated genius with a less than adequate home life which only involved one parent. Not that Reid would ever hold his mother's illness against her, but he couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt when she was having an episode and didn't even recognize him. Or when she didn't notice he was hurt like on that fateful night with the goalpost.

But Morgan was right, when it really came down to it, it was all Mayella's choice. She _chose_ to let her feelings fester and storm inside of her and take them out on others. And in the end, she _chose_ to take her own life. Just like Reid _chose_ not to let his less than great childhood affect his attitude.

And that was the difference in it all. A person was defined by their choices, not their situation.

* * *

_"One is never lost. One is always where one is supposed to be."  
\- Hadji Singh_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is most appreciated!


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